I am facing SELF-DOUBT | #10
My story of facing self doubt and how did I overcome it
I was not planning to write on this topic in today’s newsletter, but then thought to just share my feelings with you all. So here it is.
For the last one year, there were many times that I felt a lot of self belief issues. Being a teenager and upon that being a content creator, I have being facing a lot of self-doubt. let me explain that :-
Many elders believe that we, teenagers, don’t have any problems. We will never face any difficulties in life. but the reality is far more different. We have a lot of stress, pressure. First, since childhood, when we are in school, parents and teachers pressurize students to score high marks. They made us believe that, if you are a good in academics, score marks, be on the top and score higher than his/her classmates, then only you will be successful. If you cannot fulfill all of them, you will end up as a cleaner, driver, any low profile job or they say I won’t amount to nothing. I ‘ll just clarify, I do respect every person and job. for me, all the jobs are equal. This creates a lot of pressure on the students. I was good in academics until 6’th class. I got above 90% in all subjects. But you all know, how the Indian educational system is. Its completely broken. After 6’th, my marks started going down academically. Got very bad marks in 9’th and 10’th class. I pass both the classes, but had to give re-test in 9’th and if the board exams would have happened, I would have definitely failed.
I was very sad in those 2 years. Pandemic in my 10’th, made it worse. I didn’t had many friends to talk and 2020 was a very bad and confusing year. So, those 2 years, I had fear of academics, I couldn’t understand anything, there were many nights where I literally cried myself to sleep. It was a very bad year. On top of that, my parents pressurized me to score good marks, teachers told anything false about me during PTMs. I didn’t tell this to anyone, except one of my friend. That person made a huge impact in my life during those tough days, as I found someone to share my feelings. I also thought of quitting my school, but my parents didn’t let me do it.
Secondly, I am a content creator. People just see the finished blog or video of a creator, but they don't understand what the content creators go through. Lets take my example. For 1 video of 5-15 minutes, i have to dedicate 2-3-4 days from start to finish. since I make infotainment content, I have to research a lot and gather a lot of information. Then I assemble the information, delete the unnecessary, make a video which takes 1-2-3 hours, then edit the video. Time taken for a video is double the time of the raw video. it means that, if I shot a video of 30 minutes, I have to minimum sit for 1 hour to edit a video. It may vary, but it takes a lot of time. Then do last things and upload it. It takes a lot of time. I have to be patient, have to be consistent which creates a lot of pressure of uploading 1 video a week, deal with hate, criticism, etc. It becomes hard for me sometimes. Managing our health also becomes a challange. People don’t understand it properly.
So, I was watching a video of Ranveer Alliahbadia on self-doubt, this is the video, and some great people have told something about self-doubt.
I don’t want to make the newsletter long, so will be sharing some points from the video. I’ll be linking videos in the weekly recommenationms so that you can watch it.
GAUR GOPAL DAS
We always check how many likes, shares, followers we got, our focus is only on that, which is not good in the long run and it will affect you mentally. gaur gopal das says that, just do what you are ment to do, just keep inspiring people, let numbers follow as a coiencidence. When you are pushing yourself beyond your capacity, you know that you are doing itat the cost of other things that matter to you.
JAY SHETTY
There are days when I don’t feel motivated, tires, unsupported. But training your mind & body is never about never feeling about it again. It’s not about never feeling that way again. It’s that let it affect you for less time. You have to accept the sadness and just feel how are you feeling at that moment.
Also, all the bad experiences ahds taught me to be humble, grounded and it helps you empthise with people more.
RANVEER ALLIAHBADIA
All the painful experiences, even they are painful, they have made me the kind of person I am today. It becomes positive in the future. For example, when I got bad marks in 9’th, many of my classmates made fun of me today. They abused me by saying bad words. I remained calmed in that situation and didn’t react. Today when someone humiliates me, I don’t give a f*ck about it.
Most ambicious people will doubt themselves. sometimes my videos will be bad, many people will noit like some videos. But that’s okay. But my supporters know that if this video is bad, I’ll wait for the another video. You just needs to take actions, no matter what hsappens.
So this was today’s newsletter. I felt like crying while typing it. But yeah, i just wantes to share my feelings and tell you that you are not alone. Everyone has self-doubts. Everyone ahs their own struggles and we should not judge anyone.
So, today also I face a lot of self-doubt. It’s not that I have overcome it. Every big person has self doubt. It’s just that I keep creating what I love and giving my 100%
Book I am currently reading
Currently I am reading ‘Booming Digital Stars’ by Manish Pandey and Harsh Pamnani. I started this year by reading this book. This books talks about 11 inspirational stories of Indian content creators. I absiloutly loves the book and the stories of creators are amazing
I am coming with a new thing today
I am highly inspired by Varun Duggirala to write my newsletter and videos. In his newsletter, he shares whatever intresting videos or podcast he saw/heard. There are about 3-5 content pieces. thst inspired me to also share my weekly recomendations. I started sharing them, but realised a problem while sharing them. I realised, if you see my first weekly recomendation, the mail in your inbox is gone. Weather you want to see the other weekly recomendations in the evening, you have to search and fing my mail. This will make the process harder for you.
To tackle this, I found this solution. I have made a Notion page, where I’ll add all the links of the weekly recomendations. I’ll add them here in the newsletter and in the Notion page. So saave this link, so whenever you have free time, you can watch/ listen my weekly recomendations.
Aditya Mulukuri helped me make it.
This is the link- https://openinapp.co/url/cc578
Weekly Recommendations
Nikunj Lotia AKA Be YouNick is one of my favoutite YouTubers. He makes comedy sketches. His humour is unique. From this video, I got to know about his struggles and hardships which he went through.
Tanmay bhat is an iconic star. He is the founder of AIB, a production company. We all know him as a successful YouTuber, entrepreneur, stand up comidian. But very few people know his back story. Tanmay in this podcast talk about his problems he faces as a child as a obese kid, life, etc.
Gaur Gopal Das is a joyful person. But his story is amazing. In this podcast, Ranveer and Gaur Gopal Das ji dive into how Gaur Gopal Das ji quit engineering to be a monk, monmkhood, spirituality, etc.
To be a monk in this monkey world is tricky. But Jay Shetty is one of the example could think l;like a monk in this monkey world. Jay Shetty is a life coach and one of the most influential motivational speakers on social media today. he spend 4-5 years in a monestry to gain so much knowledge. See this podcast to think like a monk and enjoy life.
Priyanka Chopra is one of the iconic stars on the internet. in this podcast, the secret to her magnetism, purpose in life, her success, discipline and mental health.
Dont forget to save the link for my Notion Weekly Recommendations- https://openinapp.co/url/cc578
Self plugin
Since, we entered 2022 last week, I made a video on my resolutions for this year.
Thanks a lot for reading the newsletter. It means a lot you gave me your precious time. It would mean a lot if you share it across your network.
To ask me or tell me anything, you can, of course, always write to me, by emailing me or DMing me on my social media. I love reading all your emails and DMs, though I may take time to reply to all of them.
YES! I READ ALL MY EMAILS AND DMs. ALL OF THEM.
(2022 ke mere habits ki kasam)
My Email- aninquisitivestoryteller@gmail.com