Learn how to say no | #68

In order to protect your sacred space and time

Apr 07, 2023

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Have you ever struggled to say NO to others? I am pretty sure many people struggle to say no to the things they don’t want to do. I have also struggled and now I am improving to say no. Now I am improving to say no to others

But why you should say ‘no’ to people?

I was reading Keep Going book by Austin Kleon and he said ‘In order to protect your sacred space and time, you have to learn how to decline all sorts of invitations from the world. You must learn how to say “no”.’

There are things that we don't want to do, or we do them just to show off. Social media has created FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) among everyone, especially teenagers.

You must be having friends who are trekking, your peers getting high-paying jobs or your juniors doing great work.

But there’s the opposite of it and that is JOMO. JOY OF MISSING OUT.

“There can be, and should be, a blissful, serene enjoyment in knowing, and celebrating, that there are folks out there having the time of their life at something that you might have loved to, but are simply skipping.” -Anil Dash

Many times we are people pleasers too. We want to show people that we are greater or better than others. In my childhood, there were many instances when I did things that my seniors told me to do. As I was told, I used to spend my time studying and exams, but in the long run, I realized that it won’t work for me in the long run. I was more inclined toward content creation. So I started doing it

Saying NO to other people is hard, but if you say ‘no’, it’s peace for you. If you don’t want to play with your friends and build up your skills, say NO. It will be hard, but good for your future self.

But how to say NO to others?

I learnt this from Ankur Warikoo. Instead of saying ‘no’, ask for permission. You can ask “Is it okay if I say ‘no’?.” There will be very few people who will say no. But most people will say “It’s okay if you say ‘no’. ”
Decline politely. Here’s what Austin Kleon shared in his book

Saying no doesn't always mean being rebellious. It's choosing what's right for you and healthy for your boundaries. You may have to disappoint your closed ones many times, but it teaches you to take a stronger stand for yourself ultimately.