How to start a conversation with anyone | #96

Be a great conversationalist

Nov 10, 2023

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A few days ago, I met 2 Post-graduate students at my college for the first time and we talked for about 15-20 minutes. Later, a friend asked me how to start a conversation with a random person we hadn’t met before. I told him the steps I followed.

A few days ago, Sahil Bloom in his newsletter shared 4 principles on how to start a conversation with anyone. I realised these were almost the same things I told my friend.

In this newsletter, I’ll share the 4 principles of how to start a conversation and how to get to know an unknown person better in the first talk.

Principle 1: Create Doorknobs

Most questions are close-ended, which means their answer ends in a word or a sentence.

Doorknobs are statements or questions to encourage somebody else to open them and continue through. They extend an invitation for the other person to begin narrating.

Every new answer or story is an opportunity for you to add a point and continue the conversation.

Principle 2: Be a Loud Listener

A loud listener means the actions of a listener to let the speaker know that the listener is listening to them and make them feel they are being heard.

Saying ‘Yes’ or uh-huh’ or ‘hmm’ to signal listening
Changing facial expressions to react physically to the story
Having a good body posture. Leaning forward towards the speaker signals the speaker a sense of positive energy, never turning away or sideways as it signals the speaker that you are not interested in listening.

Principle 3: Repeat & Follow

Repeat some of the key points in your own words and follow with additional insight, a story, or a question. You can also talk about what you agree or disagree with the speaker and show you are listening. It builds momentum and connection.

Principle 4: Make situational Eye Contact

The amount of eye contact you make with the speaker can affect how they perceive you. Too little and you look shifty, too much and you look psychotic.

Situational eye contact is good:

Deep and unified in their speech.
Natural as you talk.

If you need to focus on a particular point or scene in a story, make eye contact. It's acceptable to stare off into thought.

So these were the 4 principles by Sahil Bloom on how to start a conversation with anyone.

Here are some of the conversation starters which you can use:

Weekly Recommendations

See all the precious weekly recommendations here: weeklyrecommendations.super.site

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Picture of the week

Last week, I attended the Slush New Delhi 2023 event. It was a great 2 event and it was filled with a lot of learning. There were some of the great speakers from different industries.

He is Sanjeev Sanyal, a Member of the Economic Advisory Council to the Prime Minister of India

Read my previous newsletters:

From Time Millionaire to Billionaire | #95

Proof of Work changed my life. Here’s how | #94

Internet Encyclopedia | #93

In this together,

Pranav ✌️

Reach out anytime! Email or DM me and I'll read it all and reply too.

My Email- aninquisitivestoryteller@gmail.com

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